I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
