Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
