I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
where are my eyebrows?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
