and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So much Jack, so little girl.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
