i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they're like a gay fantastic four
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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