your room smells of hookers.
And success
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
a search helicopter?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
