Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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