my mouth tastes like poor choices
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
