I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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