I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
