I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm at about main and main street
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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