Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
