whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
