God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
