New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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