just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I want is dick and wine.
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