theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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