That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
