i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
