it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
