I think i peed on brittanys purse
We got so high we made milksteak
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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