6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
