All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
