at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize