The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
