Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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