It's Friday. Sex?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
