The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You were trust falling into bushes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
