I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
