Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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