I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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