I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
