I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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