I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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