Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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