is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
