NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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