I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
