Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
