similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
