I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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