Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
