ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
