Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They have beer where we have blood.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
