Already got asked if we're dating
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
