so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
did i walk over a car last night?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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