i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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