Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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