I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize