I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
