I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
