It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
