someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
