so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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