You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
