I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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