i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize