Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Vodka?
Forever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
