I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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