Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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