I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize